What Do I Want From Life?

Last night I decided to go to AUB to attend a musical concert at the Assembly Hall organized by the Russian-Lebanese Society in cooperation wih the Russian Consulate.

On the road to AUB, I passed along 3 types of people.

First, I saw two young lads with their skaters, skating along the AUH road. I believe they were heading towards the Central Bank where young Lebanese skaters gather to perform stunts on its long and wide stairs. It's funny how skaters all seem to be skinny or lean, as if it's a must for a skater to be lean in order for him to perform at his best.

Second, I saw a bunch of young AUB students who were discussing among themselves some classroom subjects and they all seemed to be sort of nerds 'cause they started talking about Stephen Hawkings and his lectures. They all had good English and were pretty fluent in it.

Third, I saw two young love birds joining the crowd of music lovers and sat a couple of pews in front of me. They seemed to be a cute couple and the young guy seemed very shy and tense. He had very striking and radiant eyes as if he was fascinated to have his girl sitted beside him.

All of a sudden I felt I was alone and lost in this wretched world. I still don't know what I want from life! Yes, I still want to be part of an adrenaline-free stunt group of skaters or dancers or any weird group and practice the hobby with great passion and enthusiasm! I also want to keep being part of a group of debaters who would carry intellectual conversations with fellow mates and tackle life's different philosophies with great zeal! However, on the other hand, I feel my life is empty. It's empty of its companion like a love bird who has lost his one and only love. I sense the need for that special person who will always be available for me, with whom I can spend deep and soul-enriching moments and go through breath-taking experiences that just the two of us could some day come to tell others about.

However, the truth is, I have lost my passion for life. Nothing seems to attract me strong enough to run after it with all my might! "They all seem pointless pursuits," I say to myself hiding behind the fact that I'm too lazy and a coward who's frightened of failing or being hurt.

With all these passions burning in me, I believe the word lost would best describe me today.

Aimless Wanderer